Getting to know yourself-2nd series.

Fast forward to your first and only months in the University. Thrust into a completely different environment, you started experiencing huge bouts of self doubt and hatred, and suferred from what can only be described as a complete nervous breakdown. You had spent so much of your life working towards what you thought were your important life goals  only to find out that they meant nothing.

Instead of feeling a sense of pride and self-worth, you spent your month at the University feeling like a fraud and an outsider. At your worst, you felt as though you did not truly exist. Without a group to neatly  fit into, you lost all sense of your identity. You then began to ask some questions like who am I? What am I working towards? You had no answers to these questions; you had nothing but negative thoughts for your identity to attach itself to. One's philosophy is not best expressed in  words; it is expressed in how well one knows oneself. And the type of choice you'll make will depend on how much you know about yourself.

  On leaving university, you were diagnosed with anxiety and depression. That year, you underwent a course of cognitive behavioral therapy and while it worked for many, it did not work for you. And you are feeling guilty for the fact that it was not aiding you to recovery, you would lie to your therapist that it was working. You were still aiming to please others by being what you thought they wanted you to be even after all this time. And if I was to tell you, I would have suggested to you to take time out to understand and learn about yourself. Through your struggles,  you came to the reality that you were only working towards goals  other people wanted for you. Your self-esteem was so low that you didn't know what you really wanted or indeed, who you even were. But on your own side you could have overcame the challenge by being sensitive. You were often influenced by other people's thoughts and desires so you could have curiously made an effort to find out what it was you really wanted by taking the time to listen to yourself. Wish you could change the past?  Impossible. Learn to let go and create a life you want. Create a life you desire. Create a life that will completely give you happiness not the one that will totally take it away.